Time is a social construct. Smut is eternal.

Congratulations. You’ve just stumbled upon the most unholy alliance of sticker and serotonin. This is no ordinary alarm clock. This is the infernal timekeeper of your soul, and it reads one thing only: S M U T. That’s right. Not 3PM. Not 7:30AM. Just… smut. All day. Every day. You live in the time zone where pants are optional and plot is politely ignored after page five.

Stick it to your Kindle, your water bottle, your laptop, your forehead during BookTok cosplay — we’re not judging. Wherever you go, bring with you the power of a protagonist who has suffered just enough to be irresistible.

Why you need it:

• Your friends already know you’re feral. This just confirms it.

• It’s 5:00 somewhere. That somewhere is in Chapter 23.

• Adds 10 points to your fictional taste level and subtracts 5 from your grip on reality.

It’s not AM. It’s not PM. It’s SMUT O’CLOCK, and if you know what time it is… this sticker was made for you.

WARNING: Side effects may include blushing in public, unrealistic expectations of love, and spontaneous re-reads of that scene. You know the one.

Specifications:

• Material: Vinyl

• Finish: Gloss

• Size: 6.3cm wide x 4.5cm high